It’s 16.52 and the sun is blazing away!

Well, the sky is still remarkably light, which is more like it. But still! Roll on springtime!

The yard was a death trap yesterday, ice everywhere, people getting stuck in the car park, and no way were any of us going to be anywhere but the indoor.

The horses haven’t been ridden much in the last week, and Rebel was just about pushing me down the icey-muddy slope to the arena. He then proceeded to lep about and once I got up on him I knew I’d better get off. Not when we’d be sharing the space with the ponies.

This did nothing for my confidence, which, I’m afraid, is pretty much in tatters. After such a crap lesson on Wednesday, I really wanted to just get my seat back under me.

I brought him back up, and one of the kids had to help me once we got him to the barn, as he started dancing around and trying to get to the horses in their stable. Just to say hello, of course, but still, not terribly safe.

I went and got Amigo, who let me bridle him without any fuss at all, but once we got going, it wasn’t great. He was jigging all over the place too, and it took me forever to get a feel for his much looser, longer, bouncier gait. We were doing okay when both lessons united to go large, Amigo and I in the lead, and it was great — on the left rein. Then we switched to the right and it was like he was limping. He was constantly trying to break into canter, which I imagine is easier for him than the trot — maybe? As I lost the rhythm, he lost faith in me, and when we stopped to queue for the fence, he was all over the place, and I felt myself start to panic all over again. Dammit.

We skipped it. I eventually dismounted, after disconsolately watching everyone else jump, and just felt like shite all over again.

I really need to have fun on Tuesday, and fun, for me, is feeling like I’m a capable rider. I haven’t felt like that in the last few days. So, fingers crossed, the burgeoning spring is heralding a change in my personal weather, too.

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